Two steps forward, one step back

On Sunday I was doing the usual ‘preparing for the working week ahead’ routine. My life is made much easier if I get everything I need ready the day before, from my packed lunch to exactly the right handbag, to every part of my outfit, including earrings. It saves me so much time and I don’t even need to think about having an outfit crisis because it’s sorted.

I pulled a pair of socks (to go in the trainers I wear on the commute, see?) out of the drawer, turned towards my bed and smacked the little toe on my right foot hard against the bed frame. For a moment I thought I’d got away with it. There was a slight sting. Then I made a dreadful, primeval pain noise. I hopped downstairs and applied ice to the toe, which was already swelling and turning red. I muttered to myself: ‘It cannot be broken. It cannot be broken. It cannot be broken’. As a runner, I’m always in denial about anything that might prevent me from running.

Initially I thought (hoped?) that it was merely badly bruised. Yesterday I couldn’t put any weight on the toe and it was turning purple and black. I went to A&E (5 hours – worst game of Theme Hospital EVER) and they confirmed in less that 5 minutes that it was, indeed broken. It’s a small break so it should heal relatively quickly as long as I rest it, but it impedes every aspect of my life.

Why is this relevant to LwL?

I commute into the office (a short walk, a mainline train journey, a short walk and a tube ride) and I can’t do that journey when I’m struggling to walk at all. Luckily I can work at home this week because my organisation is brilliant about flexible, remote working but it’s far from ideal because…

  1. I’d arranged to meet the lovely Helen from CILIP to discuss lots of fun CPD ideas. I had to send apologies and postpone our meeting until August
  2. I had to dial in to an internal meeting and the phone reception was terrible so I felt very disconnected (lol) from the conversation
  3. The much-discussed desk move happened on Monday, so we’re now facing our lovely users but I’m not there to enjoy it
  4. I was supposed to go on a CPD visit to the Guildhall Library on Thursday and I had to send apologies for that, too
  5. I normally work at home two days a week, but the thought of doing five days on my own in a row is filling me with horror. I need to be around other human beings or I start to go slightly feral.

Last week I thought I was making really good progress with the ‘Born again Librarian’ project and it’s ridiculous how a tiny accident can have such a negative impact. However, it could have been much worse and, while I feel incredibly silly, I have devised a plan to get me through:

  1. I’m trying to get my work ‘To-do’ list done before I go on leave next week. I’m an inbox zero sort of person – anything I don’t have to deal with immediately goes into a sub-folder – so everything in my inbox is something I actually have to get done. This is keeping me nicely busy.
  2. I’m going to *drum roll* start gathering Fellowship evidence, dust off my job description and CV and begin working on the PKSB. I will also update my CPD log on the VLE (I’m pretty diligent about doing this, but I need to add the Conference to it.) [Note: someone needs to HOLD ME TO THIS. I need accountability. Essentially, I need Strava but for CPD]
  3. I need to make more tweaks to LwL. I’m still not completely happy with the way it looks and there are sections I need to update e.g. Publications

It’s a small setback, but nothing more than that. I’m resilient enough to realise that it’s not world-changing or life ending. It’s a temporary frustration that might just give me some much-needed headspace to reflect on various things.

Stupid toe.

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